Pop Culture Told Us Feminism Was the Problem

It wasn’t. The problem was always patriarchy wrapped in pink.

If you grew up in the 90s or 2000s, chances are you were handed a narrative that other women were your competition. That girl-on-girl hate was normal. That being “not like the other girls” made you special. And feminism? That was for angry women who couldn’t take a joke.

Turns out, that was all scripted. Deliberately.

Books like Girl on Girl and Bad Friend are finally putting language to something a lot of us felt: that pop culture served us a toxic cocktail of internalized misogyny and called it empowerment. That our friendships were quietly sabotaged by media that wanted us petty, jealous, and disconnected from our own power.

I can’t tell you how many people I know who grew up thinking they couldn’t trust other women, that ambition made you a bitch, and that softness was weakness.

Now we know better.
Now we unlearn.
Now we build different.

What You Can Do:

• Take inventory. What shows, songs, or messages taught you to shrink yourself or judge other women?

• Talk about it. Call that shit out when you see it in current media. Loudly.

• Reclaim your softness. And your rage. And your brilliance. All of it.

• Celebrate women loudly. Hype your friends. Publicly. Often.

Affirmation of the Week:

I am not in competition with other women. I am done performing for a system that profits from our disconnection.